That's some scary shit because I no longer have any structured purpose in my life, other than
As much of it as you can,
as fast as your mind can gather,
yet never quite as deep as your heart needs for it to matter.
But still deep enough to fill the pockets so your esteemed-soul is getting fatter.
God/Universe forbid the ego’s battered.
But we’re all fighting battles here.
What if I want it all?
I think about this all the time.
I know what it takes to be an artist. Repetition.
The more you produce, the more you learn to release, and the more you release, the more you produce opinion.
(said that girl at our party that last time. About us. )
So I revisit my sunset dreams during dark time, and find light.
Even if- mis-colored or unsettling.
I see the reality I can have-
If I focus on my brightness.
The darkness is trying to catch me.
Had me swimming in something so shallow my eyes could not even fathom its depth.
Why am I like this?
What am I like?
Do I even know?
I feel though.
I feel you.
Nothing to play but I play till I bruise. I don’t like to take L’s, so I never abuse
The ability that grows from being lost within truth.
If I don’t accept loss, I can never lose.
*If I ever become lit, I have to find her & thank you for being a piece of this memory for me.