I Haven’t Written a Poem In Too Long. My apologies.

It’s been a while since we’ve crossed paths.  So much so, that whenever the thought of you comes around, I vanish it.  Because I feel too many things.  I’m greedy.  I’d rather not picture you in the hands of someone else  No matter how long it’s been since you’ve been in mine.  I hope your new lovers treat you well.  But I hope you don’t get too comfortable with them.  You’ll come back to me sometime. I know they don’t love you the way I do.  But they probably don’t abandon you the way I do.  I’m selfish.  It may seem like I only want you around when I need you.  I never meant to be one of those lovers that use and abuse the love you give.  It may seem like I only use you for the admiration, but trust me love, you are so much more than just that. First love, last love, no matter what comes in between.  I am just as hypocritical as you think I am.  I have not put a pen to paper.  I have not put my thoughts into full sentences that only make sense to you and I. I have not made myself much use to you. I have not made you as proud as I once hoped I would.  I had plans to travel the world with you, to see the world, and fall in love with you each time, in each different location. It shames me that I can not even stay devoted to you, now. When times are intense, and there’s light years of stories to tell in my mind. I need to keep in mind that I need to satisfy my craving of you even when times are good.  Usually poetry is about putting yourself in the imagination of another.  but that’s hard to do when your own reality is actually a great place to reside in. Your existence escapes my mind. And when my thoughts linger back to you, I act as though I don’t have the time. I am a liar.  But that one may be a little bit your fault too. It’s what you’ve taught me.  & you’ve taught me. well.  I am forever enslaved to you.  No matter where or what or who.  Happily chained to you by my words and by my rhythms.  I love this shit. This love and hate relationship is unhealthy.  Lucky for you, you’re the only medicine to my sanity.  I love this shit. You’ve got me.  I’m yours.  Always and forever.  Even if my love seems to come  few and far 

Between

the lines. 

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This was written in my HS days, when I wanted to write a poem, after realizing I hadn't in so long. Personifying poetry as a lover. Read it again.